He Holds It All Together

I have felt the need to write this out for awhile. I have no idea why. I feel like this is all over the place and will make me sound crazy but I also feel like it is important for some reason unknown to me at this time. This is something that at the moment I battle on a daily basis. I am worn but Wednesday I feel like God told me to keep getting up. I refuse to give in. I refuse to let it take over. I refuse to let the devil win. I refuse to let him distract me from my calling. So here is my story. Here is the reason I am worn, but still finding the strength (thanks to a BIG God) to get back up. I'm not sure when it all started. For as long as I can remember I have been fearful. I know that my first struggle with depression started on September 11, 2001. I was in 7th grade in my 2nd period class when a teacher ran into our classroom screaming and crying, "TURN ON THE TV! A PLANE CRASHED INTO THE WORLD  TRADE CENTER!!" My teacher turned on the TV and not even a minute...

I got behind on my devotions, like I always do, so tonight I am playing catch up. One of the devotions I do on YouVersion is about prayer and wants me to tell someone 10 things I am grateful for and why. I am currently in a very quiet house so the only way I can tell "someone" is to write it on here. So here it is... First and foremost I am grateful for my Savior. Why? I am really bad about not reading my Bible everyday and not praying as much as I know I need to, but when I do get back into it He is right there waiting for me. No one on this earth would do that. I know I wouldn't be there for someone that constantly walked away from me when I made it so easy for them to include me in their life. God does. I have learned that there is nothing I could do to change that and grateful doesn't even begin to describe how that makes me feel. Next is my husband...there are so many reasons I am grateful for him. He is an amazing father, a great husband, an inspirational lea...