He Holds It All Together

I had to get out of there. I could not sit there any more and see my baby like that.  Later that evening the NICU called to get verbal consent to do an "exchange." They put a central line in his belly button, removed some of his blood and then added saline to his blood to try to lower his red blood cell count. A couple hours later the doctor called me and let me know that the procedure went well but they wouldn't know how successful it was until the next morning.  All of that happened in what I promise felt like the longest day of my life. I was still in a lot of pain not only from delivery, but from having my tubes tied a couple hours after I had him. I woke up around 7:30 the next morning and forced myself to put makeup on. I turned on the TV and I remember feeling ok. I thought I was handling everything well. Then I started crying and didn't stop for almost 45 minutes. I have struggled with depression for years, especially postpartum depression, so this situati...

I knew as everything was happening that I was supposed to tell this story and tell it often. Everything (as scary as it was in the moment) happened for a reason and it was obvious that it was all being orchestrated by God. It was an emotional 5 days for me, but I am so thankful that I was able to see it for what it was while it was happening.... Carson is baby #3. We didn't plan on having another baby, but in the 2 short weeks since I had him the Lord has made it obvious that His plans are far greater than mine. My pregnancy with Carson was a lot like Toby and Ainsley's, the only problem other than me being completely miserable was my blood pressure. So, just like before I was induced at 38 weeks. Most of my pregnancy John and I debated on where I would deliver. My doctor gave us 3 options. One was where I had been doing all my prenatal care, one was where I had Toby and Ainsley, and the other was a new hospital that we had used before for ER services, but didn't know ANY...