I had to get out of there. I could not sit there any more and see my baby like that.
Later that evening the NICU called to get verbal consent to do an "exchange." They put a central line in his belly button, removed some of his blood and then added saline to his blood to try to lower his red blood cell count. A couple hours later the doctor called me and let me know that the procedure went well but they wouldn't know how successful it was until the next morning.
All of that happened in what I promise felt like the longest day of my life. I was still in a lot of pain not only from delivery, but from having my tubes tied a couple hours after I had him. I woke up around 7:30 the next morning and forced myself to put makeup on. I turned on the TV and I remember feeling ok. I thought I was handling everything well. Then I started crying and didn't stop for almost 45 minutes. I have struggled with depression for years, especially postpartum depression, so this situation felt so much worse than it actually was. After I calmed myself down I woke John up and had him call the NICU to check on Carson. His nurse seemed to think he was doing a lot better so I was relieved. We ate breakfast and then headed to Target to get some much needed clean clothes. (At that point I hadn't been home because I couldn't stomach having to answer the million questions I knew Toby and Ainsley would have about where Carson was and when he would be home. I also didn't want John to leave me alone.) While we were at Target we bought a book to read to Carson and some stuffed animals for his room. When we got to the NICU Carson was still on all the monitors and getting IV fluids and still had the feeding tube in. He was also still under the lights. His nurse said she thought he may be able to come out from under the lights for a little bit but we had to wait to find out for sure. I was still really emotional at times so while we waited John started reading to him. After awhile I was finally able to take over. Not long after that Carson's nurse told us we could hold him and that he was doing so well that they were going to take his feeding tube out and let us feed him! He was still on IV fluids to keep his blood sugar up but they reduced them by 50% then too! I was ecstatic. I once again could see God working.
That first feeding Carson ate like a champ. John and I could both tell that he had missed us holding him and that he wanted to go home. After he finished eating the nurse said, "I can tell that baby wants to go home!" We told her there were a lot of people praying for him and she smiled and said, "Good!!" When I burped Carson he turned his head and somehow got his mask to fall off so he could actually feel my cheek and then he gave me a kiss. I was once again overcome with emotion but this time it was more relief than anything. I missed holding him so much!
After we spent a little more time with Carson we went to John's office because his bosses wanted to see us. After talking for a little bit they handed John some money and told us they had taken up a collection for us. They said we should go out to a nice dinner or something; they just wanted us to know that they cared. I was surprised but super thankful. John and I both felt blessed that he worked in a place that really did care. After that we went home to see Toby and Ainsley. I handled them asking questions better than I thought. (Bringing home a new toy for each of them and saying it was from Carson helped too). We spent some time with the kids and then went back to see Carson again.
After that John and I decided to take his boss' advice and go to a nice dinner. The panic I had over Carson had subsided and I was able to enjoy alone time with my husband, who in the midst of losing his grandpa, had been EXTREMELY supportive and just plain awesome during everything that week. I told John at dinner that I kind of felt like we were dating again. Looking back on it I see it as an opportunity to celebrate our anniversary a few days early. It wasn't under the best circumstances but during the whole ordeal we were able to get some much needed quality time together. It was definitely something that brought us closer together and I am super thankful for that.
The next morning we got up early and went to see Carson. John's grandpa's funeral was that afternoon so we wanted to see Carson as much as possible beforehand. He had been taken off the phototherapy lights, his IV fluids were dropped another 20%, his blood sugar was good and his red blood cell count was good. With all that positive news I asked the nurse when he could go home. She seemed to think that it would be a few more days because he "wasn't ready" to be off IV fluids yet. That was at 10 AM. At 2:30 I called to check on him and the nurse said he was taken completely off of the IV fluids but he still couldn't go home because he still needed to be monitored.
We got back up to the hospital around 9 that evening so we could hold him and feed him. I kept asking the night nurse when Carson could go home. (What can I say, I just felt like he was ok to go home. Complete 180 from the days before emotionally). She, just like the nurse and doctor that morning, told me he wasn't ready yet. When she left I asked people to pray that he would be released the next day, Saturday, and then I prayed about it.
I kid you not, I said, "Amen" and then his nurse walked in. "He gets to go home tomorrow." If I hadn't been holding Carson I would've jumped up and down. The nurse said it would probably be late afternoon. John and I went to the hotel and decided to sleep in the next morning just in case Carson didn't want to sleep well when we brought him home. At 8 the next morning the nurse on duty called and said we were cleared to take Carson home after his 9:30 feeding and we did!
Carson got down to 6 lbs 14 oz during his whole hospital stay. When he went to see Dr. Redwine that next Tuesday she said he looked so much better but she wanted him to try to get back up to his birth weight so she wanted to see him again in a week. By our WIC appointment on Thursday he was up to 7 lbs 3 oz and by his 2 week appointment with Dr. Redwine he was up to 7 lbs 14 oz.
This whole experience was probably the best/worst thing I have been through in awhile. I am so thankful for all the people that prayed for us and that God made himself obvious to me in the process. I know this is a story that needs to be shared.
If you read all of this, thank you! I want you to know that the moral of this story is that God is so good and he is in even the smallest details. He knew what doctors and nurses needed to be with us during the process. We found out later that if they wouldn't have caught the polycythemia so soon that it would have been very bad. Now Carson is healthy and all 3 of my kids get to see an amazing doctor that John and I know prays for them.
Oh and there is an ongoing story that I need to share about my fight with depression, but I will save that for another day. Right now I need to get some cuddle time with my little man!
Later that evening the NICU called to get verbal consent to do an "exchange." They put a central line in his belly button, removed some of his blood and then added saline to his blood to try to lower his red blood cell count. A couple hours later the doctor called me and let me know that the procedure went well but they wouldn't know how successful it was until the next morning.
All of that happened in what I promise felt like the longest day of my life. I was still in a lot of pain not only from delivery, but from having my tubes tied a couple hours after I had him. I woke up around 7:30 the next morning and forced myself to put makeup on. I turned on the TV and I remember feeling ok. I thought I was handling everything well. Then I started crying and didn't stop for almost 45 minutes. I have struggled with depression for years, especially postpartum depression, so this situation felt so much worse than it actually was. After I calmed myself down I woke John up and had him call the NICU to check on Carson. His nurse seemed to think he was doing a lot better so I was relieved. We ate breakfast and then headed to Target to get some much needed clean clothes. (At that point I hadn't been home because I couldn't stomach having to answer the million questions I knew Toby and Ainsley would have about where Carson was and when he would be home. I also didn't want John to leave me alone.) While we were at Target we bought a book to read to Carson and some stuffed animals for his room. When we got to the NICU Carson was still on all the monitors and getting IV fluids and still had the feeding tube in. He was also still under the lights. His nurse said she thought he may be able to come out from under the lights for a little bit but we had to wait to find out for sure. I was still really emotional at times so while we waited John started reading to him. After awhile I was finally able to take over. Not long after that Carson's nurse told us we could hold him and that he was doing so well that they were going to take his feeding tube out and let us feed him! He was still on IV fluids to keep his blood sugar up but they reduced them by 50% then too! I was ecstatic. I once again could see God working.
That first feeding Carson ate like a champ. John and I could both tell that he had missed us holding him and that he wanted to go home. After he finished eating the nurse said, "I can tell that baby wants to go home!" We told her there were a lot of people praying for him and she smiled and said, "Good!!" When I burped Carson he turned his head and somehow got his mask to fall off so he could actually feel my cheek and then he gave me a kiss. I was once again overcome with emotion but this time it was more relief than anything. I missed holding him so much!
After we spent a little more time with Carson we went to John's office because his bosses wanted to see us. After talking for a little bit they handed John some money and told us they had taken up a collection for us. They said we should go out to a nice dinner or something; they just wanted us to know that they cared. I was surprised but super thankful. John and I both felt blessed that he worked in a place that really did care. After that we went home to see Toby and Ainsley. I handled them asking questions better than I thought. (Bringing home a new toy for each of them and saying it was from Carson helped too). We spent some time with the kids and then went back to see Carson again.
After that John and I decided to take his boss' advice and go to a nice dinner. The panic I had over Carson had subsided and I was able to enjoy alone time with my husband, who in the midst of losing his grandpa, had been EXTREMELY supportive and just plain awesome during everything that week. I told John at dinner that I kind of felt like we were dating again. Looking back on it I see it as an opportunity to celebrate our anniversary a few days early. It wasn't under the best circumstances but during the whole ordeal we were able to get some much needed quality time together. It was definitely something that brought us closer together and I am super thankful for that.
The next morning we got up early and went to see Carson. John's grandpa's funeral was that afternoon so we wanted to see Carson as much as possible beforehand. He had been taken off the phototherapy lights, his IV fluids were dropped another 20%, his blood sugar was good and his red blood cell count was good. With all that positive news I asked the nurse when he could go home. She seemed to think that it would be a few more days because he "wasn't ready" to be off IV fluids yet. That was at 10 AM. At 2:30 I called to check on him and the nurse said he was taken completely off of the IV fluids but he still couldn't go home because he still needed to be monitored.
We got back up to the hospital around 9 that evening so we could hold him and feed him. I kept asking the night nurse when Carson could go home. (What can I say, I just felt like he was ok to go home. Complete 180 from the days before emotionally). She, just like the nurse and doctor that morning, told me he wasn't ready yet. When she left I asked people to pray that he would be released the next day, Saturday, and then I prayed about it.
I kid you not, I said, "Amen" and then his nurse walked in. "He gets to go home tomorrow." If I hadn't been holding Carson I would've jumped up and down. The nurse said it would probably be late afternoon. John and I went to the hotel and decided to sleep in the next morning just in case Carson didn't want to sleep well when we brought him home. At 8 the next morning the nurse on duty called and said we were cleared to take Carson home after his 9:30 feeding and we did!
Carson got down to 6 lbs 14 oz during his whole hospital stay. When he went to see Dr. Redwine that next Tuesday she said he looked so much better but she wanted him to try to get back up to his birth weight so she wanted to see him again in a week. By our WIC appointment on Thursday he was up to 7 lbs 3 oz and by his 2 week appointment with Dr. Redwine he was up to 7 lbs 14 oz.
This whole experience was probably the best/worst thing I have been through in awhile. I am so thankful for all the people that prayed for us and that God made himself obvious to me in the process. I know this is a story that needs to be shared.
If you read all of this, thank you! I want you to know that the moral of this story is that God is so good and he is in even the smallest details. He knew what doctors and nurses needed to be with us during the process. We found out later that if they wouldn't have caught the polycythemia so soon that it would have been very bad. Now Carson is healthy and all 3 of my kids get to see an amazing doctor that John and I know prays for them.
Oh and there is an ongoing story that I need to share about my fight with depression, but I will save that for another day. Right now I need to get some cuddle time with my little man!
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