This came out of something I feel God revealed to me the other day. I know I have talked about depression numerous times, but this is the best explanation.
Imagine this. You are in a dark room. It is so dark that you aren't sure the size of the room, or what is in it with you. You aren't even sure how you got there. As you look in the distance in front of you, you see a door cracked just enough to see that there is light on the other side. The door looks like it is beyond reach, but you decide you need to try. Then you look around. There is a problem. You have no idea what stands between you and that door. It is so dark you cannot see your own hand and as you call out for help you realize that no one can hear you. Maybe they haven't noticed you are gone. Maybe they don't care. So you pray, but it feels like God can't hear you amidst all the darkness. Paralyzed with fear you eventually force yourself to sleep, only to jar yourself awake a couple hours later. That was a close one. Whatever is lurking in the room could have overtaken you in your sleep. You decide you can't live like this anymore. You have to get out of the room. You have to see what is on the other side of that door. Anything has to be better than living like this. So you take a small step forward. Then as you think to yourself, "Well I didn't die, let's try that again..."
BOOM!!!!
You are rattled by an unknown sound from an unknown source and jump back to the familiarity of where you started. Then you wonder again, "Can anyone hear me? Does anyone care? God, where are you?"
Time passes and your days have been filled with the same heartache and fear. You have not tried to move since your second day there. Moments of strength have come, only to be squelched by your past failures. You have started to believe lies that you are worthless, your friends and family don't care and it is possible God doesn't either, you are stupid, you did this to yourself, you aren't a good enough Christian or you never would have ended up here, you are depressed because you do not trust God.
Then in the distance you hear something. It is faint, but you can start to tell that it is a voice. A very passionate voice. A man's voice. Your pastor's voice. It sounds like he's preaching. Without thinking you inch a little closer to the door. Now you can hear clearly.
"Deuteronomy 31:8 says, 'The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Then as you ponder what he said, you hear a creak and notice that the door is open a little more than before, more light comes in and you can see a little better. Then what seems like days later, you hear another voice.
"I just wanted to see if I could pray for you, I'm not really sure why, but you've been on my heart lately..."
The door opens a little more.
You decide to pray out loud and choose to believe that God does hear you.
The door opens a little more.
Then nothing. For what feels like months, maybe even years. The door hasn't closed any, but it hasn't opened anymore either...
I really could go on and on about this topic. I unfortunately have years of experience. What made the difference for me? The door kept opening little by little over time and as the light began to come in I decided to take a chance and get up and walk out. Now, I have to make that choice everyday.
Am I saying that it is like this for everyone. No way. Depression takes on different shapes and sizes for each person. The devil is a stupid liar who wants to steal, kill and destroy everyone, especially those covered by The Blood of Jesus.
Imagine this. You are in a dark room. It is so dark that you aren't sure the size of the room, or what is in it with you. You aren't even sure how you got there. As you look in the distance in front of you, you see a door cracked just enough to see that there is light on the other side. The door looks like it is beyond reach, but you decide you need to try. Then you look around. There is a problem. You have no idea what stands between you and that door. It is so dark you cannot see your own hand and as you call out for help you realize that no one can hear you. Maybe they haven't noticed you are gone. Maybe they don't care. So you pray, but it feels like God can't hear you amidst all the darkness. Paralyzed with fear you eventually force yourself to sleep, only to jar yourself awake a couple hours later. That was a close one. Whatever is lurking in the room could have overtaken you in your sleep. You decide you can't live like this anymore. You have to get out of the room. You have to see what is on the other side of that door. Anything has to be better than living like this. So you take a small step forward. Then as you think to yourself, "Well I didn't die, let's try that again..."
BOOM!!!!
You are rattled by an unknown sound from an unknown source and jump back to the familiarity of where you started. Then you wonder again, "Can anyone hear me? Does anyone care? God, where are you?"
Time passes and your days have been filled with the same heartache and fear. You have not tried to move since your second day there. Moments of strength have come, only to be squelched by your past failures. You have started to believe lies that you are worthless, your friends and family don't care and it is possible God doesn't either, you are stupid, you did this to yourself, you aren't a good enough Christian or you never would have ended up here, you are depressed because you do not trust God.
Then in the distance you hear something. It is faint, but you can start to tell that it is a voice. A very passionate voice. A man's voice. Your pastor's voice. It sounds like he's preaching. Without thinking you inch a little closer to the door. Now you can hear clearly.
"Deuteronomy 31:8 says, 'The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Then as you ponder what he said, you hear a creak and notice that the door is open a little more than before, more light comes in and you can see a little better. Then what seems like days later, you hear another voice.
"I just wanted to see if I could pray for you, I'm not really sure why, but you've been on my heart lately..."
The door opens a little more.
You decide to pray out loud and choose to believe that God does hear you.
The door opens a little more.
Then nothing. For what feels like months, maybe even years. The door hasn't closed any, but it hasn't opened anymore either...
I really could go on and on about this topic. I unfortunately have years of experience. What made the difference for me? The door kept opening little by little over time and as the light began to come in I decided to take a chance and get up and walk out. Now, I have to make that choice everyday.
Am I saying that it is like this for everyone. No way. Depression takes on different shapes and sizes for each person. The devil is a stupid liar who wants to steal, kill and destroy everyone, especially those covered by The Blood of Jesus.
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