I knew as everything was happening that I was supposed to tell this story and tell it often. Everything (as scary as it was in the moment) happened for a reason and it was obvious that it was all being orchestrated by God. It was an emotional 5 days for me, but I am so thankful that I was able to see it for what it was while it was happening....
Carson is baby #3. We didn't plan on having another baby, but in the 2 short weeks since I had him the Lord has made it obvious that His plans are far greater than mine. My pregnancy with Carson was a lot like Toby and Ainsley's, the only problem other than me being completely miserable was my blood pressure. So, just like before I was induced at 38 weeks. Most of my pregnancy John and I debated on where I would deliver. My doctor gave us 3 options. One was where I had been doing all my prenatal care, one was where I had Toby and Ainsley, and the other was a new hospital that we had used before for ER services, but didn't know ANYTHING about their labor & delivery department. When my doctor decided to induce we decided to go with the new hospital and we prayed that the staff would be what we needed.
On September 9th at 5:30 AM John and I checked into the labor and delivery department at Integris Edmond. The room was awesome and the staff was amazing from the beginning. It took 4 people and 9 sticks to get a good IV going (not to the fault of the staff, my veins have always been difficult) and then at 7:30 they started the Pitocin, at 8:45 my doctor broke my water, at 11 I got my epidural, and at 1:53 PM after 2 pushes Carson was born weighing 7 lbs. 8 oz and 20 inches long. Tammy, the nurse that was taking care of him from the beginning kept saying, "He's perfect Mom, he's perfect." All day that day and the next day every time she would check on him she would say, "He's just perfect..." As a mom I never got tired of hearing that, especially with how miserable I was while pregnant, but other than that there was something about that nurse that always stuck out to me and I didn't find out until later what it was.
The pediatrician on call was amazing. The first time she saw Carson she too said he was "perfect." I remember feeling prompted to ask her about when Carson would be ok to go to the nursery at church and I am so glad I listened to that prompting. After answering my question Dr. Redwine opened up about praying for our country and our president even though she might not always agree. When she left the room John and I looked at each other and agreed that we had found Carson's pediatrician. (I had been stressing BIG TIME about who his pediatrician would be. I didn't know then that it was a blessing.)
On the 10th we found out Carson had jaundice. Dr. Redwine said it was weird for it to show up in the first 24 hours but assured us that it was most likely nothing to worry about. The next morning they checked his levels again and they had gone up. Dr. Redwine came into my room and let me know that Carson would have to be put under the phototherapy lights to try to bring the levels down and if it went down by 2 that afternoon we would be cleared to take him home. Then she said she was praying for him. She left the room and I cried. I have no idea why, but I did. A few minutes later the nurses came in and said that I would be able to keep him in the room while he was under the lights. I was relieved. They put Carson under the lights and left the room. A few minutes later they came in to check on him and looked kind of panicked after they noticed his rapid breathing. I remember the nurse looking at me and her voice being calm but in her eyes she looked worried. She asked how long he had been breathing that way and then said she would have to take him to the nursery and call Dr. Redwine. After they wheeled him out I lost it. I had no idea what was going on and in my head I thought we would be going home later that day.
I didn't know it at the time but Dr. Redwine had them run every test in the book to see what was going on. She called my room a couple hours after they took Carson to the nursery and John answered the phone. All I heard was "I've got some news and it's not good..." My heart sank. I didn't even try to hear the rest of that conversation. In that moment I was happy in my denial. I didn't want anything to be wrong with Carson and in my head nothing was wrong if I didn't hear it. After she told John what was going on she said that she was sorry she couldn't tell us in person but she had to pick up her son from school. Then she said something I will never forget. She told John that when she got the call about Carson's test results her son was in the car with her and immediately said, "Mom we need to pray for that baby." She told John that as soon as they got off the phone they were going to pray. That was the moment John and I knew that God was orchestrating everything that was going on.
Carson was diagnosed with polycythemia. His red blood cell count was elevated to the point that his blood was "sludgy." We were told that his blood sugar was also too low and that his breathing and the jaundice were still a concern. Dr. Redwine said he needed to be transferred to the NICU at Baptist and that he was going to need a blood transfusion. I lost it again.
I remember texting Farah while all this was going on and she asked me how I was doing and I told her that I was struggling to keep it together and she sent back, "I'm on my way." I know not everyone that reads this will know who Farah is but for me she is the person I want praying for me when something is going on. She is a prayer warrior and I really look up to her for that. I don't remember for sure but I think I broke down when she got there. We talked for awhile and while we were talking her phone kept going off. It was people letting her know to tell John and me that they were praying for us. I was blown away. Almost none of those people had met Carson, including Farah, but that didn't matter to them, all that mattered is that someone needed healing and they were going to pray for them. Farah prayed with us before she left and when we were done it was like a weight had been lifted.
We had a rough week. 2 days before I had Carson, John's grandpa was called home. We were so happy for him because he had been in pain for so long, but we were still struggling with losing him. He was so excited about meeting Carson that almost 3 weeks before he passed when they told him he had 2 days to live he told me that he would try to hang on to meet Carson and John's cousin's baby.
For the first time I can honestly say that after Farah left and until we were able to bring Carson home I could feel all the prayers that were being prayed on our behalf.
A couple hours after I found out Carson would be transferred to Baptist, I finally got up the courage to go see him in the nursery. He was on an IV and under the phototherapy lights. He looked awful. I only stayed in there long enough to ask a few questions. I was looking for someone to tell me that they were 100% sure that he would be ok. I had no idea what polycythemia could do to my baby and in the midst of feeling those prayers fear was trying to take over and tell me that my baby was going to be taken away from me. Tammy was in the nursery taking care of Carson, just like she had done every day that we had been there during the day shift. I told her that I was thankful that the nurses and Dr. Redwine were paying attention and were able to figure out what was going on. Tammy smiled and said, "I've been praying for him. I know that God is working in this." In the midst of my fear Tammy reminded me that God was there and it was obvious that he was orchestrating everything. I actually walked out of that nursery smiling, comforted that God was in control.
When the transport team arrived they brought Carson by my room so John and I could sign some paperwork and they could let us know how everything worked. Carson was in an incubator with wires everywhere. The incubator was on a stretcher with monitors. The RN that would be riding in the ambulance with Carson was trying to explain what we needed to do when we got to Baptist and I lost it again. It was heartbreaking to see him in that contraption with all those wires and monitors. Then she started asking me what medication I was taking when I got pregnant and while I was pregnant. That's when guilt kicked in. I was flooded with the feeling that something I had done could have caused this to happen. The crying stopped but the shame and guilt lingered.
My doctor was quick about getting me discharged after they took Carson. So John and I loaded everything and took off for the hospital. My mom was at our house with the kids so John and I were going to get a hotel room right by the hospital just in case. Normally we would not have the money for it, but God's timing is awesome. We had a credit card that we had been paying on since early 2008 and the interest rate was ridiculous. Late last year we found out that the interest rate should've been lowered when John enlisted. So we turned in the paperwork and found out that it would lower the interest rate from when he joined and we would actually be owed money in the end. For whatever reason the paperwork didn't go through the first time so we had to resubmit everything and then wait. A few weeks before I had Carson I was making our budget and checked that account and found out they owed us over $2700. John called and requested they close the account and send us the check. They said it wouldn't arrive until the end of September. We got the check the day I had Carson.
I held my breath and picked up the phone to get access to the NICU. As we walked in we heard Carson screaming. The receptionist in the NICU was trying to explain how everything worked but all I could focus on was his cry and the fact that there was nothing I could do. All I wanted to do was hold him. When we walked into the room where Carson was I was relieved that the nurses were all at desks right by where the babies were. A nurse was assigned to Carson each shift. That was comforting to me too. Then I looked at Carson, he was still under the lights and hooked up to monitors and getting fluids through the IV, but now there was a feeding tube. The nurse brought us chairs and I sat there as long as I could, but the longer I sat there the more my heart broke.
Carson is baby #3. We didn't plan on having another baby, but in the 2 short weeks since I had him the Lord has made it obvious that His plans are far greater than mine. My pregnancy with Carson was a lot like Toby and Ainsley's, the only problem other than me being completely miserable was my blood pressure. So, just like before I was induced at 38 weeks. Most of my pregnancy John and I debated on where I would deliver. My doctor gave us 3 options. One was where I had been doing all my prenatal care, one was where I had Toby and Ainsley, and the other was a new hospital that we had used before for ER services, but didn't know ANYTHING about their labor & delivery department. When my doctor decided to induce we decided to go with the new hospital and we prayed that the staff would be what we needed.
On September 9th at 5:30 AM John and I checked into the labor and delivery department at Integris Edmond. The room was awesome and the staff was amazing from the beginning. It took 4 people and 9 sticks to get a good IV going (not to the fault of the staff, my veins have always been difficult) and then at 7:30 they started the Pitocin, at 8:45 my doctor broke my water, at 11 I got my epidural, and at 1:53 PM after 2 pushes Carson was born weighing 7 lbs. 8 oz and 20 inches long. Tammy, the nurse that was taking care of him from the beginning kept saying, "He's perfect Mom, he's perfect." All day that day and the next day every time she would check on him she would say, "He's just perfect..." As a mom I never got tired of hearing that, especially with how miserable I was while pregnant, but other than that there was something about that nurse that always stuck out to me and I didn't find out until later what it was.
The pediatrician on call was amazing. The first time she saw Carson she too said he was "perfect." I remember feeling prompted to ask her about when Carson would be ok to go to the nursery at church and I am so glad I listened to that prompting. After answering my question Dr. Redwine opened up about praying for our country and our president even though she might not always agree. When she left the room John and I looked at each other and agreed that we had found Carson's pediatrician. (I had been stressing BIG TIME about who his pediatrician would be. I didn't know then that it was a blessing.)
On the 10th we found out Carson had jaundice. Dr. Redwine said it was weird for it to show up in the first 24 hours but assured us that it was most likely nothing to worry about. The next morning they checked his levels again and they had gone up. Dr. Redwine came into my room and let me know that Carson would have to be put under the phototherapy lights to try to bring the levels down and if it went down by 2 that afternoon we would be cleared to take him home. Then she said she was praying for him. She left the room and I cried. I have no idea why, but I did. A few minutes later the nurses came in and said that I would be able to keep him in the room while he was under the lights. I was relieved. They put Carson under the lights and left the room. A few minutes later they came in to check on him and looked kind of panicked after they noticed his rapid breathing. I remember the nurse looking at me and her voice being calm but in her eyes she looked worried. She asked how long he had been breathing that way and then said she would have to take him to the nursery and call Dr. Redwine. After they wheeled him out I lost it. I had no idea what was going on and in my head I thought we would be going home later that day.
I didn't know it at the time but Dr. Redwine had them run every test in the book to see what was going on. She called my room a couple hours after they took Carson to the nursery and John answered the phone. All I heard was "I've got some news and it's not good..." My heart sank. I didn't even try to hear the rest of that conversation. In that moment I was happy in my denial. I didn't want anything to be wrong with Carson and in my head nothing was wrong if I didn't hear it. After she told John what was going on she said that she was sorry she couldn't tell us in person but she had to pick up her son from school. Then she said something I will never forget. She told John that when she got the call about Carson's test results her son was in the car with her and immediately said, "Mom we need to pray for that baby." She told John that as soon as they got off the phone they were going to pray. That was the moment John and I knew that God was orchestrating everything that was going on.
Carson was diagnosed with polycythemia. His red blood cell count was elevated to the point that his blood was "sludgy." We were told that his blood sugar was also too low and that his breathing and the jaundice were still a concern. Dr. Redwine said he needed to be transferred to the NICU at Baptist and that he was going to need a blood transfusion. I lost it again.
I remember texting Farah while all this was going on and she asked me how I was doing and I told her that I was struggling to keep it together and she sent back, "I'm on my way." I know not everyone that reads this will know who Farah is but for me she is the person I want praying for me when something is going on. She is a prayer warrior and I really look up to her for that. I don't remember for sure but I think I broke down when she got there. We talked for awhile and while we were talking her phone kept going off. It was people letting her know to tell John and me that they were praying for us. I was blown away. Almost none of those people had met Carson, including Farah, but that didn't matter to them, all that mattered is that someone needed healing and they were going to pray for them. Farah prayed with us before she left and when we were done it was like a weight had been lifted.
We had a rough week. 2 days before I had Carson, John's grandpa was called home. We were so happy for him because he had been in pain for so long, but we were still struggling with losing him. He was so excited about meeting Carson that almost 3 weeks before he passed when they told him he had 2 days to live he told me that he would try to hang on to meet Carson and John's cousin's baby.
For the first time I can honestly say that after Farah left and until we were able to bring Carson home I could feel all the prayers that were being prayed on our behalf.
A couple hours after I found out Carson would be transferred to Baptist, I finally got up the courage to go see him in the nursery. He was on an IV and under the phototherapy lights. He looked awful. I only stayed in there long enough to ask a few questions. I was looking for someone to tell me that they were 100% sure that he would be ok. I had no idea what polycythemia could do to my baby and in the midst of feeling those prayers fear was trying to take over and tell me that my baby was going to be taken away from me. Tammy was in the nursery taking care of Carson, just like she had done every day that we had been there during the day shift. I told her that I was thankful that the nurses and Dr. Redwine were paying attention and were able to figure out what was going on. Tammy smiled and said, "I've been praying for him. I know that God is working in this." In the midst of my fear Tammy reminded me that God was there and it was obvious that he was orchestrating everything. I actually walked out of that nursery smiling, comforted that God was in control.
When the transport team arrived they brought Carson by my room so John and I could sign some paperwork and they could let us know how everything worked. Carson was in an incubator with wires everywhere. The incubator was on a stretcher with monitors. The RN that would be riding in the ambulance with Carson was trying to explain what we needed to do when we got to Baptist and I lost it again. It was heartbreaking to see him in that contraption with all those wires and monitors. Then she started asking me what medication I was taking when I got pregnant and while I was pregnant. That's when guilt kicked in. I was flooded with the feeling that something I had done could have caused this to happen. The crying stopped but the shame and guilt lingered.
My doctor was quick about getting me discharged after they took Carson. So John and I loaded everything and took off for the hospital. My mom was at our house with the kids so John and I were going to get a hotel room right by the hospital just in case. Normally we would not have the money for it, but God's timing is awesome. We had a credit card that we had been paying on since early 2008 and the interest rate was ridiculous. Late last year we found out that the interest rate should've been lowered when John enlisted. So we turned in the paperwork and found out that it would lower the interest rate from when he joined and we would actually be owed money in the end. For whatever reason the paperwork didn't go through the first time so we had to resubmit everything and then wait. A few weeks before I had Carson I was making our budget and checked that account and found out they owed us over $2700. John called and requested they close the account and send us the check. They said it wouldn't arrive until the end of September. We got the check the day I had Carson.
I held my breath and picked up the phone to get access to the NICU. As we walked in we heard Carson screaming. The receptionist in the NICU was trying to explain how everything worked but all I could focus on was his cry and the fact that there was nothing I could do. All I wanted to do was hold him. When we walked into the room where Carson was I was relieved that the nurses were all at desks right by where the babies were. A nurse was assigned to Carson each shift. That was comforting to me too. Then I looked at Carson, he was still under the lights and hooked up to monitors and getting fluids through the IV, but now there was a feeding tube. The nurse brought us chairs and I sat there as long as I could, but the longer I sat there the more my heart broke.
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